"hi i just wanted to say goodnite"

why would you send me a text like that. youre straight, right? thats what you told me. maybe im just confusing friendliness for flirtation but i really dont think so. i dont think straight guys send texts like that to gay guys. i would send a text like that to a person i liked.

i swear to god i ALWAYS get involved with the wrong people, always. the other guy i thought was cute was in and out of relationship, then left me a comment on my fb status, then the next day he deletes his fb lmaoo. thats over. then the guy that i meet at the club that i KNOW is gay and IM GUESSING was single doesnt text me or add me on fb like he said he was going to. haha wen am i going to get a breakk! 2010 is supposed to be a good year for aries? it has certainly started off shitty. i like it better wen im not involved with ANYONE. just me, myself, and i, and my friends.

god i am soo over this lol. im sitting here laughing out loud, literally. god bless all of you that are in/have been in relationships because i dont know how one is ever started. there is obviously something wrong with me and i just wish there wasnt!

maybe i should just enjoy this whole 'i dont know if hes straight or gay' thing. i mean, getting nice attention from someone isnt a bad thing, i just want it to move forward. and even if it did, it would probably end up bad. its never good to get involved with someone who isnt sure of their sexuality. the sad part is i kno this and i dont care.

if you seek amy.

Ugh how depressing. Everyone is back at school and my life can be completely boring again. It always feels the same when everyone goes back. My life is kind of sad. With all the jobs I have had and all the hours I've worked I should be rich or something, but instead I owe a million dollars on all these credit cards. How very sad. I also want to apologize for how much I've been talking about 'boys'. Everyone can disagree but i know that I completely ridiculous when it comes to this subject and I get hung up on people way to quickly and way to easily. I need to learn how to be realistic about things and not fantasize about things that aren't going to happen. Just because someone thinks you're cute one night doesn't mean you're going to fall in love and be soul mates. And I guess just because someone calls you cute doesn't mean they're gay. This is my way of thinking and it is SO STUPID. It's because I have no experience in this area, so I'm the on level of a little school girl. I get so excited about things and then it feels like my world crumbles. Get over it. I know I talk about it a lot so thank you to whoever put up with me over this break because I know I am a mindless idiot. Going to the gym has been so freeing because I just get to listen to my music, and when I'm feeling 'sad', music is really the only thing that helps me. I usually connect with music a lot more when I am not happy and it is amazing when lyrics fit your situation.

I wanna go back to the club but no one is gonna wanna go.

I wonder if it's better to be the person who doesn't open and put their heart out there, or be the person who gives it away too easily. Hmm.